I have to start by asking if you ever have one of those days where you laugh so hard and uncontrollably that tears are streaming down your face and you can't stop? That was me and Davina an hour ago in the car.
Tonight we had a speaking engagement. Ya, you heard right. People wanted to hear us talk about the cafe, our experiences getting this far, etc.... It was at George Brown and was to their class of entrepreneurs.
It was through George Brown that we were able to do our business plan and get our money from the CYBF in the first place. We're their success story, so they asked us to come in and give a talk. I think they may have outlined what we were supposed to talk about, but of course, we didn't have time to prepare or anything. And, of course, we had the kids with us.
So we squeeze 5 dozen apples, 4 dozen eggs, 3 kids, 2 adults, 1 stroller and a partridge in a pear tree into Davina's car and head to George Brown. We explain the need for good behaviour to the children. We arrive.
The five of us are led into a room with about a dozen young would-be entrepreneurs who are full of questions and we answer them and generally explain how we go about doing things. The kids eat granola out of take out coffee cups on the floor.
Then the kids start getting restless. Then they start making noise. Someone attempts to occupy them with Sponge Bob videos on a computer. We attempt to appear professional and answer questions intelligently while being constantly distracted by the voices of our children in the way that only the voice of your own child can distract you. At some point Avon wanders over to Davina and gives her his dirty diaper that he's just taken off. Nice.
Questions answered and students seemingly impressed we decide the kids aren't going to last 5 more minutes and it's time to go. There is granola ALL OVER THE FLOOR. We apologize profusely. We tell the kids we're leaving and Kai and Jazzy bolt from the room. Kai rounds the corner (to where a class is being lectured to) and jumps up and down, cup of granola in hand. Granola all over ANOTHER FLOOR. Jazzy bolts through a door and sets off the fire alarm. We are all apologies and then we get the hell out of dodge.
We get back to the car to discover that Davina diligently locked the doors but left the drivers side door actually AJAR. The locks don't do much when the frakkin' door is open.
In the car, it is a cacophony of "Mommy! Mommy!" "I'm hungry!" "Can I have some more cereal" "Croissant!" "Where's my juice box?" "I want water!" "Where are we going?" "I want that!" "No! I want that!"
Davina and I can't even hear each other. Jazzy comes through the loudest with her tremendous upset that Davina threw away her empty cup of cereal. She really really wanted that cup. Her displeasure overtook the car. Davina tried to console her, but dammit, she wanted that cup. Finally, Kai who is sitting beside Jazzy, mere inches from her (wait for the relevance), usurps her hold on the conversation by asking for a croissant. I hand him the one Avon insisted I take back from him (after demanding it in the first place). Kai, taking the croissant now needs to free up his hands. "Here mommy take this". A FRAKKIN' EMPTY CUP. I just looked at Davina she at me. I painstakingly pass the cup from Kai to Jazzy, who finally stopped whining about her missing cup!
That was it. The straw. You know the one. The last one. Laughter, tears and the need for booze right now. Speaking of booze right now...... I'm off to stare at the TV and drink.
See you in the morning.